Worst. Gift-Giver. Ever.

[Inspired by this comment from SKIRRID5 on the UK-Skeptics forum.]

God created Man in his own image, and He did give unto him the greatest gifts of all, given not even to his angels: free will, and rationality. For he prized Man above all his creations.

Then He said unto Man, "I have given unto thee the most valuable gifts of all. Now whatever you do, don't use them or you'll go to Hell."

And God did walk from that place, chortling to himself.

Git.