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Tuesday 16 September 2008

Repentance

It has recently come to my attention that I have been terribly disingenuous to you all. I have been repeating the poisoned lies of Big Pharma and misleading people in their honest pursuit of wellness.

Homeopathy can and does work. The anecdotal evidence is enough to void the claims of any so-called "scientific trial". This doesn't mean, however, that I have ceased to have any problem with homeopathy. I still think there are better alternatives.

I mean, it's just so expensive isn't it? Do we really want to pay that much for sugar (and lactose) pills?

My solution to this problem is something I like to call Haribology. I, like the homeopaths, make no claims that the treatment contains even a molecule of active ingredient; rather, the healing powers of Haribo™ come from the spirit of joy and wellness embodied by the smiling face on the packaging. This instills the very same essence into the tasty, sugary goodness within, and leads to optimal health - at a fraction of the cost of homeopathic remedies.

Not suitable for vegetarians.

...

Hopefully back to regular (and moderately serious) posting within a couple of weeks. As a taste of what's to come, I already have two entries in the making - both quite large, hence not having the time to work on them at the moment. One is another in my "Fictional Sceptics in Popular Culture" series, and the other concerns an interesting and amusing email I received this weekend. Stay tuned.

3 comments:

Sage said...

Another Haribologist... nice to meet you ;-)

Perfect for today's equivalent of taking the waters ...

Asclepius said...

Ok, I cant believe its taken me this long to respond to this. But as you know I've been dealing with ....things.

Haribology actually makes more sense than 'alternative medicine'. The high sugar contents would help endorphine release. This makes people happy, its part of the addictive effect of crappy foods. Most 'alternative medicines' are unpleasant in some way, at least haribo tastes nice :D.

Also I use the term alternative medicine grudgingly. I am 'discretely typing this in a lecture so dont have the time to go into the alternative medicine argument

Darkwinter said...

@asclepius:

The "alternative medicine" rant is quite unnecessary, I assure you. But yes, the pointed irony of my post was that Haribology makes as much sense as homeopathy - though as you say, it may even make more sense due to containing even more sugar, and less lactose (I believe).